In my previous blogs i have written about how in love or hurt i am. i have written about people who have wronged me or made me irate in some ways more than one. i have written about strong emotions that i seemed to have forgotten to write about the things and people that really mattered... friends and family

It took me a year to realize that being in love was ok, and standing up after a big heartbreak is hard but bearable. It took me a year also to manage my anger and try not to write every single bit about how pissed off i am. It took me a year to realize that life, career, and love may give up on you but your friends and family never will.

My family has always sheltered me all 23 years of my life. It's not perfect, considering living with just either one of my parents at one time, but i couldn't ask for more. They go overboard with all the monitoring and limitations but i think what they're doing is just their obligation and sheer care for me. I am what i am because of how these simple people molded me into the me what i am. although i admit im not that nice or kind but nobody is totally like that. we arent well-off like most other people who i work, hang out or went to school with but being well-off isnt the only license for breeding, right? good manners, generosity and kindness is learned through good cultivation and that my dears started from my beloved family.  if i would be able to get a new set, i would still want them :D

Im not the type who goes out and shares my innermost secrets to anyone. it takes a long time for me to completely confide to anyone how i am feeling and stuff. someone who could really understand or not even try to understand but just be there for me. in turn i can be there for them when they need me. being too sensitive behind the shell is too difficult but i am who i am and i think my friends have known that all too well. 

Im not kind to people, that i know. i am blunt and too frank. i dont talk to people i dont like, not even pretend to like them at all. i am secretive and i dont want people meddling into my life, not even family. my problem is my problem. but there are a few people who get past that and know how to handle me, and for that i am very thankful. i dont need to mention names, they know who they are and i can't thank them enough for trying to understand the most misunderstood person on earth. i dont ask for much from people. i dont ask for material gifts. i just want them to know that if they treat me right, i will love and cherish them forever. i have the best friends on earth and i bet everyone will go green knowing i am friends with them. we go past the nights out, road trips, expensive dinners, shopping, money spending activities and every shallow activity. it's the shared potluck dinners, the videoke, the endless chitchat, the "pungko-pungko" and the sudden "let's go" jeepney trips that make me say, "man, i had a wonderful time!"

nothing, they say, in this life is for free, but i beg to disagree. i was born with a loving family (though it was a bit expensive for my mom lol), that's for free. i met some people from school, from work, and from the internet (well, ok the internet and school costs some) and became lifetime friends with them, that's for free. and the moment i spent everyday with them, that's for free and that remains more priceless than anything in this world. i have had my heart and ego broken and bruised. i have gone through moments of sudden dips into nothingness and depression. i have made gazillion careless mistakes. but still in my 23 years, i have got a lot to be thankful for...even more than the reasons for wishing i could just disappear.